How To Rekindle Old Friendships
Realizing this could encourage people to feel like they are capable of making the first move to reconnect. Our findings illustrate that reluctance to reach out to old friends is not experienced by one type of person, nor do reaching-out notes that are sent follow one type of script. The concept of friendship resiliency refers to the belief that friendships can remain even after long periods of low interaction and is now something we are studying in our lab. Each note was coded on over 20 theoretically relevant dimensions such as the length of the note, emotion and the presence or absence of personal memories.
That said, not every friendship is meant to be rekindled. If the relationship ended because of repeated dishonesty, unhealthy behavior, or a serious breach of trust that was never addressed, reconnecting may not be the healthiest choice. Some friendships pick up where they left off, and others may never return to what they once were. Reaching out with an open mind, and without expecting a specific outcome can make the experience feel rewarding, regardless of how long it’s been or where it leads. It’s also helpful to understand a bit of the ‘why’ behind the shift.
If you’ve temporarily ghosted because work was A Lot, say hello again. Accompany this one with an Adele .gif to really drive the message home that you’re looking to reconnect. Fall furs and perfectly flowing hair are optional.
- It’s likely something you’ll be doing individually anyway, so why not join forces?
- Okay, so you’ve put in the work and things are feeling better.
- Shared memories create an instant bond and shine the spotlight on your old friendship.
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All of these are key to rekindling love and trust. That’s a tough situation, because rekindling really does require effort and willingness from both partners. If only one person is truly invested in making changes and reconnecting, it’s very difficult for the relationship to heal and grow. An open conversation about whether both individuals genuinely want to work on things is essential. Now, it’s common to run into dead ends since you haven’t talked for some time.
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More often, it’s a series of small life changes that gradually create distance. Busy work schedules, family obligations, hobbies, side hustles, and the everyday demands of adulthood can make it harder to prioritize friendships, even with people we care about deeply. But the reward is a connection that feels more resilient, understanding, and genuinely fulfilling. Catching up with old friends online or through text can help us feel reconnected even if we don’t end up meeting in person. In some cases, it can be the first step to rekindling old friendships.
Share your thoughts clearly and directly instead of expecting your friend to guess what you mean. The key is recognizing that awkwardness is temporary. Your friend likely feels the same uncertainty about reaching out. Most people appreciate when someone makes the first move to reconnect. Do you want deep conversations or casual check-ins?
Lockdowns and social distancing requirements made people avoid each other. Socializing has felt strange and awkward ever since. Sometimes, a few targeted techniques can give your efforts an extra boost when you’re figuring out how to reignite the spark. If you click with your old friend, schedule the next meetup/call before you leave.